FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
