addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
