you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
So squirting runs in the family.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
