I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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