i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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