I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
if only i could text you this smell
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
