wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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