so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
