i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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