i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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