You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
