so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
