It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
