please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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