If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize