Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize