i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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