have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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