Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
