1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
