Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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