He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
