ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
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