question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
