my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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