she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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