Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
