he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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