This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
