You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
