I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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