I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
