I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
