I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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