I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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