Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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