Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
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