Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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