Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
where am i from again
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
