Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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