? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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