He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
