can we get nightvision for the apartment?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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