I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
