Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
