Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
