I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
