those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
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