i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You dont lie about slip and slides
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
