the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
