google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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