did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
