you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
