I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
