He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
