I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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