escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
