yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
