Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
