Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
