Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
