Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
