1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
